Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Monday, January 17, 2011
2 years later
Hahahahaha. It's now two years since I started this blog. Amazing how once again I don't follow through with anything. It's a shame I am that way.
I lost 70 pounds from my gastric bypass in March 2008 then started drinking in September 2008 and my weight creeped back on. I've managed to keep 55-60 lbs off but I am constantly battleing with myself to stay in control and lose more weight. I went on Nutri Systems last year and lost 10 pounds in two months. My biggest problem is that I can eat just right but I'm not moving. I dream of exercising from the second I wake up in the morning to the time I go to bed but for some reason I don't get off my butt and just move. I'm not sure what is holding me back. Why am I so afraid? I know that when I have exercised in the past I felt powerful and happy. It makes me feel strong. I hate being the party pooper all the time. I have a voice in my ear all the time saying "Quit moping and being a downer and just get up and move. You can't change if you don't do something about it." I'm not kidding when I say it's in my ear all the time. Everyone around me is exercising and trying to get me to come with them and I want to sooooo bad. WHAT AM I AFRAID OF?
I'm tired of making excuses all the time so I'm not going to. I am going to just start gradually fitting some kind of exercise into my day even if it's for 5 minutes just so I can get myself to see it's not so scary. The weird thing is, when I am working out I can really push myself. I think of the Biggest Loser people and how they are so much bigger than me and they get pushed so hard and still do it. I will sit at home watching them and cry because I wished it was me doing it. What kind of a idiot does that? For God sakes if you want to exercise do it. I have my legs and arms so JUST DO IT!
Ok enough of this insanity. I need to stop bitching and start moving. Until the next time........
I lost 70 pounds from my gastric bypass in March 2008 then started drinking in September 2008 and my weight creeped back on. I've managed to keep 55-60 lbs off but I am constantly battleing with myself to stay in control and lose more weight. I went on Nutri Systems last year and lost 10 pounds in two months. My biggest problem is that I can eat just right but I'm not moving. I dream of exercising from the second I wake up in the morning to the time I go to bed but for some reason I don't get off my butt and just move. I'm not sure what is holding me back. Why am I so afraid? I know that when I have exercised in the past I felt powerful and happy. It makes me feel strong. I hate being the party pooper all the time. I have a voice in my ear all the time saying "Quit moping and being a downer and just get up and move. You can't change if you don't do something about it." I'm not kidding when I say it's in my ear all the time. Everyone around me is exercising and trying to get me to come with them and I want to sooooo bad. WHAT AM I AFRAID OF?
I'm tired of making excuses all the time so I'm not going to. I am going to just start gradually fitting some kind of exercise into my day even if it's for 5 minutes just so I can get myself to see it's not so scary. The weird thing is, when I am working out I can really push myself. I think of the Biggest Loser people and how they are so much bigger than me and they get pushed so hard and still do it. I will sit at home watching them and cry because I wished it was me doing it. What kind of a idiot does that? For God sakes if you want to exercise do it. I have my legs and arms so JUST DO IT!
Ok enough of this insanity. I need to stop bitching and start moving. Until the next time........
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
CRAVINGS!!!!!!!
OMG! Doesn't anyone care that I'm trying to lose weight? Isn't that how we all feel when we are trying to do so good and then someone brings donuts and crap to work. I pass by the donut box all day long craving just one sneak of a bite knowing that I will eventually eat the whole thing. Am I alone here? I feel like I'm obsessing over it. I can see the one donut I want in my mind and can even picture the ridges and the taste (even though I haven't had any) and it's driving me crazy. I went to the lunch room to eat my salad with baby shrimp and had to leave because all I could think about were the chips, cookie, crackers and granola bars in the cupboard. I decided to eat quickly and went outside to read my book and be far away from food. Now I'm back in the office and passed by the damn donuts again. I feel like I should just take one and get it over with so that I will quick obsessing but I no I CAN'T because then I will feel bad and I will punish myself for it. In front of me right now is my small organic apple and 22 raw almonds. How pathetic am I right now! LOL
Let's not forget that I am diabetic so I shouldn't be eating all that crap anyway so this just drives me nuts all day. I think knowing that I'm not supposed to eat it just makes me want it more. I know! What if I start thinking about something else like gardening or scrapbooking or something. Nope didn't work....hahahhahaha.
Let's not forget that I am diabetic so I shouldn't be eating all that crap anyway so this just drives me nuts all day. I think knowing that I'm not supposed to eat it just makes me want it more. I know! What if I start thinking about something else like gardening or scrapbooking or something. Nope didn't work....hahahhahaha.
Monday, June 1, 2009
My Weightloss Journey Begins
Well, here I am trying to lose weight "again". I suppose it doesn't matter how many times I try as long as I keep trying. Just like everybody else, I've tried all the fad diets, took the diet pills, I even went so far as to get gastric bypass surgery. What is hard for me is that I'm type 1 diabetic which makes things harder for me than most. I try not to use it as an excuse but unfortunately it's not an excuse. It is a real problem for me to try to lose the weight I've put on all these years because of all the factors in my life that disrupt my diabetes therefore affecting my weight. Ok this blog isn't suppose to be about how I can't lose weight because of my diabetes but to start working with it and finally break the barrier and live my life as a healthy, happy person.
So I've started reading about organic foods and all the pesticides and how they actually are messing with our hormones and making us fatter. Yes, I read Jillian Michaels new book Master Your Metabalism. She has some very interesting things to say. Then after reading that I read Skinny Bitch which opened my eyes to veganism (if that's a word). The whole slaughterhouse stuff made me ill. Anyway, aside from that, I just decided to start eating more veggies and protein and lay off the breads and sugary food. What a concept! So I will start showing you what I've been eating each day to help me keep on track and see if something I eat makes sense to you. Let's start with today:
Breakfast: Small organic apple
2 hard boiled egg whites
Snack: Organic Broccoli florets
Parmesan Turkey Patty (weird but I wanted some protein)
Lunch: Shrimp, Avocado and Cucumber Salad
(found recipe on the Wholefoodsmarket.com website.)
shredded romaine lettuce
2 apricots
Snack: 22 raw almonds
1 gourmet granola bar (from Lassens whole food stores or
gourmetgranola.com)
Atkins nuts and chocolate covered soy nuts
(craved something but shouldn't of had them)
Dinner: 2 chicken thighs (bar-b-qued)
1 teasponn of rice (I don't usually eat carbs at night anymore)
1 cup of salad with lite italian dressing
Dessert: 2 dessert cookies (this is where I screwed up) Oh well, moving on!
This is my daily food journal. Usually I wouldn't write down the dessert foods but I'm only hurting myself by not acknowledging it.
Now I know how to eat but I have a hard time with the exercise. I want to be accountable to myself and walk everyday. I understand that if I don't get some kind of exercise I can start to see bone loss and that even if I walk alittle it will help. The older I get the scarier it is to hear how old my body has become. So with that being said, I am going to try and start walking everyday except for Wednesday because my son is graduating from High School that day. Holy Crap! Maybe I am old!
So I've started reading about organic foods and all the pesticides and how they actually are messing with our hormones and making us fatter. Yes, I read Jillian Michaels new book Master Your Metabalism. She has some very interesting things to say. Then after reading that I read Skinny Bitch which opened my eyes to veganism (if that's a word). The whole slaughterhouse stuff made me ill. Anyway, aside from that, I just decided to start eating more veggies and protein and lay off the breads and sugary food. What a concept! So I will start showing you what I've been eating each day to help me keep on track and see if something I eat makes sense to you. Let's start with today:
Breakfast: Small organic apple
2 hard boiled egg whites
Snack: Organic Broccoli florets
Parmesan Turkey Patty (weird but I wanted some protein)
Lunch: Shrimp, Avocado and Cucumber Salad
(found recipe on the Wholefoodsmarket.com website.)
shredded romaine lettuce
2 apricots
Snack: 22 raw almonds
1 gourmet granola bar (from Lassens whole food stores or
gourmetgranola.com)
Atkins nuts and chocolate covered soy nuts
(craved something but shouldn't of had them)
Dinner: 2 chicken thighs (bar-b-qued)
1 teasponn of rice (I don't usually eat carbs at night anymore)
1 cup of salad with lite italian dressing
Dessert: 2 dessert cookies (this is where I screwed up) Oh well, moving on!
This is my daily food journal. Usually I wouldn't write down the dessert foods but I'm only hurting myself by not acknowledging it.
Now I know how to eat but I have a hard time with the exercise. I want to be accountable to myself and walk everyday. I understand that if I don't get some kind of exercise I can start to see bone loss and that even if I walk alittle it will help. The older I get the scarier it is to hear how old my body has become. So with that being said, I am going to try and start walking everyday except for Wednesday because my son is graduating from High School that day. Holy Crap! Maybe I am old!
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